July 8, 2013

Halfway there!

Week 20
July 1-7
I can't believe we are halfway through this pregnancy!

With the best things in life there is this tension between the mundane moving slowly and the special moments flying by quickly. I feel like my favorite things about life have both those elements. In some ways I don't remember not being pregnant - it's like I've been pregnant for forever and yet February wasn't that long ago. So strange. The mix of emotions are still really high for me.

I don't want this intimacy with Genevieve to ever stop.
I love that she goes with me everywhere I go and I feel all of her movements. I am unbelievably connected with her. And yet my goodness, the moment I get to hold her and look her in the eye and connect with her on a deeper level is unreal and definitely worth the wait.

I am trying to view this process as a special season.
This helps me get through most things in life. It would be very easy to focus on the loss of something/someone every time change happens. I don't do change well, I never have. But I find peace in knowing that my life will always be changing and instead of dwelling on the loss I want to be grateful for the time I had that experience. I am definitely allowing myself to feel the emotions of my "kid-less" life coming to an end and to embrace the fact that my baby will not always live inside of me. I think it is a healthy way to process. It helps me live in the moment and appreciate each memory. These moments are what make up my story. And the best part of embracing change is that there is so much joy in the anticipation for what's to come.

I know Genevieve's kicks so well now. I feel them just about every time I sit down. I also officially felt my first Braxton Hicks contraction. It's amazing that my body is already preparing for her birth. Just not yet! Increasing my water intake as we speak.

So today I will sit and relax and enjoy these CONSTANT kicks and flips.
 And close my eyes and connect with my daughter. I will soak in every moment of this pregnancy and allow myself the time to process the emotions. And when the time comes, I will fully embrace the next season as Genevieve makes her entrance to this world. 

To my sweet Genevieve,
You are one active baby. You already bring so much joy to our lives - our happy Lark. You love to swim and kick. All day long. I grab your Dad's hand every time you start to dance. After one big kick, he looked at me and started tearing up thinking about how much he loves you already. I am in awe that your home is inside of me and that I could have so much love for someone I haven't even "met" yet. I hope you can already feel the love we have for you. It will only increase every day. We are so excited for the day we welcome you earth-side, but no rush. These next 20 weeks will be treasured forever.
Weeks 6-20 of the baby bump:

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